Watch what happens when I mix all this together!

Ok, you know I’m not the world’s best baker. I mean, I can achieve a decent baked good, but it is by no means what I am known for. After all, that’s what you are for, right? That is why Mom and Dad brought you into this world after that surprising… nightofpassion… there. I said it. Because they needed a good baker in the family. One who could take over the bread baking after Mom gave it up because Gordon was just too much to handle. On top of having a Wendy Byrd already. But finally, I’m starting to become a decent enough baker.

Usually my cookies look flat and runny, like the clocks in Dali’s painting:

Mm, moustache cookies

Sometimes they end up like rocks, and don’t flatten out at all.
But this time I have achieved the perfect cookie, thanks to Betty Crocker’s handy book that tells you exactly how to avoid these problems!

Case in point:

The perfect cookie! The bottoms aren’t even burnt! Success!

The end results.